Tom Petty spoke rightly when he said, ‘the waiting in the hardest part.’
All I can say is that the next couple of days are going to be very, very long indeed. Waiting for word from the Orchard. Even though I pretty much know the answer, the official word will make me breath a huge sigh of relief. It means that the next steps can be taken and this season of waiting will be over.
Yet, I’m torn, at the same time, because of the thought of leaving all of our friends. Yesterday at church, discussing recent trips and God’s possible plans, this wave of ending swept over my soul. Orlando has always been a place of transitioning. From the moment we stepped foot out the open door of our then-too-expensive moving truck until now, looking a cross-country move in the face, we have been in transition. Orlando has never been a place which we’ve thought of as ‘home,’ in a long term sense.
Now, in the short term it has definitely become home. Having only been married 9 months when we moved from Safety Harbor we were still very much newlyweds. Ten jobs, five years, four moves, three cars, two degrees, and one child later, we are very different people. We have friends, a church and a family here. Our roots have been planted deep into their soil, the rending of which will leave indellible marks on all. But I know it’s time to go. That feeling from somewhere southwest of the spleen whispers words to heart that the time is right. To stay would be to take the easy way. To go requires faith. And faith has the pesky habit of requiring us to do things we don’t believe we either can do or should do. In our case the former seems the mountain we are called to climb. In either case faith calls us out of comfort and complacency into a life of movement, a life of transition.
Whether it is the small transitions we face everyday, the amalgam of which we call ‘living’, or the larger ones we might call watershed moments, we are unnaturally transitory beings in search of permanency. In a world of change our souls cry out for stabilty.
I’m still waiting for stability. I think I’m waiting for it to come with words this week. I know that it won’t. I may live some measure more into it, but stability, ultimate, unending, certain, stability still lies… just… out… of… reach……